Grief Is A Bitch
grief is a bitch.
I can remember asking through uncontrollable tears "how long does this last?"
It's been 7 years since I lost more people than anyone should in such a short amount of time. 7 deaths. 6 of which were suicides. 2013 SUCKED. I was finally starting to see the light and come out of the fog and then BAM; my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. She died in October of 2018. It was the hardest goodbye of my life. To say the last 7 years have been hard is an understatement.
GRIEF IS A FAQ'N BITCH!
It comes...and it goes. And it usually shows up in the most inconvenient times. Things that trigger sadness and memories. You're in this club no one wants to be a member of.
It's been just over a year since I lost my Mom. To look at me, you would probably not know what I am dealing with. I usually hold it in or take long drives or write or play loud music and sing at the top of my lungs. Anything but actually deal with the elephant in the room. I can't actually TALK about it. I think this is often referred to as the denial stage. Yup, I'm sittin pretty in denial. I have been open and honest about what I'm dealing with on this blog, only in hopes that I can help someone else who might be going through the same thing. It plain sucks. I don't know what's worse - suicide or cancer. All I DO know is life goes on whether I want it to or not.
I found myself reading this blog this morning for the 100th+ time that Allison Hudson wrote. It has gotten me through a LOT. It always reminds that even though people may not talk about it, we have all lost someone special. It reminds me that I am not alone.
It's been a tough week for the world and I keep seeing 'life is short" posts. Life IS short. I just wanted to tell you all I love you. Now get out there and live. What are you waiting for? Tomorrow is not promised.