Five And Fabulous
I often wonder why I blog.
Is it for me or is it for you?
After I sat down and thought about that, I know it's for me.
It's my therapy.
2013 was the year I found out my mother had cancer. I lost Tara, Rich, Shelly, my Aunt Barbara and JD. I needed to escape. Death had broken my spirit. I needed to get my head right. Everyone said go to church. Nope. I didn't want to go to church. I wanted to get past all of the pain and skip all the steps of grieving, because grieving sucks. There's no nice way to put it. Especially with suicide. I had a LOT of grieving to do.
"Death had broken my spirit"
I remember the day I called Bob. He was my 1st boss when I was about 15 at Coca Cola. He was a good 30 years my senior, but you'd never know it. He had the soul and spirit of a 25 year old. We sat many times in Rusty's Deli in Quail Corner's talking. I loved his stories. He was a religious man, but he never pushed God down my throat. He respected that I didn't want to hear it. He told me 'find someone you can trust to talk to daily ... and find a hobby'.
I found blogging.
So what have I learned?
Success is not built on success; it’s built on failure
Every failure is a lesson
Fail early, fail often, fail forward
Blogging is time consuming
Everyone has an opinion; respect that we are not all always going to agree
If you are not willing to fail, you are not ready to succeed
Tomorrow is not promised
We have the same 24 hours
Laughter is the best medicine
Go through hell, you will find your people at the end
The early years with Tessa Machen - can't stop won't stop is our motto. Both of us working full time jobs and running blogs.
I had no idea how much failure I had ahead of me when I started all of this. I kept thinking about all those angels I have up there. They want me to succeed. They are my life cheerleaders and what keep me going. And just like that five years flew by. Five years of me telling you guys what I know and more importantly, what I don't ... and a little self healing along the way.
"Success is not built on success; it’s built on failure."
Last May, I lost Bob. It was his turn to go home. Like all the times before, I took it hard. I remember the day of the funeral his son Robert texted me and said 'no crying ok? He is home and happy" and ya know what? He was right. I knew Bob was ok.
Every morning I have conversations with myself ... and Bob. Pep talks about how I am going to stay focused and survive on my own. That has always been my goal. To make it on my own. How that every "no" is not the end of the world. When one door closes, open a window. Like everyone, I want to be successful. And I don't mean in terms of money. I want to be a good person, give back, be a good friend, laugh often and leave this world knowing I gave it my all.
I love this motivational video from the Fresh Prince:
"Fail early, fail often, fail forward" - Will Smith
To my family and friends that said never stop writing, thank you for your support and patience and love.
And remember… your dreams don’t have to have an expiration date. By no means do I have it figured out. Take your time. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Try harder. It's worth it. I promise. Happy Monday. Go be fierce! Xo.